She Walks Alone

Fuck forever. 

Fuck ever after. 

Fuck destiny and all those other unmentionables. 

Need to live in the now like I'm fighting on life support. 

Can't stop and wait for meaning in my being anymore. 

Gotta keep it moving, relying on my instincts, and search for the why not in the everyday. 

Can no longer stand to sleep, eat, fuck, work, drink nor smoke my life away. 

Being lonely sucks. 

Yet being lonely amidst an entourage of creatives who I deemed my family sucks a fat one too.

Falling under the spell of depression because the alternative is Mt. Everest. 

Yet still I climb. Slowly. 

Sometimes without care nor comfort for others feelings but thine own. 

Not giving a shit about saving face. 

I'm not in a good place.

Cheers to not knowing how to snap out of my pity party. 

Salut to not caring 'cause I give it all I got. 

Have to. Nothing else to lose. Nothing else to fear. 

Gotta man up. Woman actually. 

Face my unknown. Be not afraid of walking alone. 

Be open to lose limitless to gain the infinite. 

Go balls deep for what and who I want when they both  discover me. 

I pray he will have the eyes to see where many tried and failed. 

Then we'll be walking alone side-by-side together. 

Yet until the universe blesses me with my vision of everlasting love, I gotta start crawling before I run.

Gotta give it all away. 

Throw out the garbage with the baggage.

The "smile in your face

All the time while they take your place"

Backstabbers

The "fake it til you make it" shine grabbers.

The "spiking your happy juice with haterade" haters.

The perpetual pain. 

The harrowing hurt. 

The silent suffering.

Gotta throw it all away.

Pain is life's necessity. 

The body's reminder that you're still alive. 

The heart's reminder of your pathetic existence on a planet of 6 billion souls. 

The mind's reminder to discontinue repeating the same mistakes expecting a different result.

The soul's reminder that you exist for whatever purpose the Great Creator brought you into being. 

To turn a blind eye on your gifts means to spit in the face of your Maker. 

Don't stop. Can't stop. Won't stop until I reach the promise land. 

Where the end is the beginning is my end. 

Aiming for the center of the universe, our Father, the core of all existence. 

Reaching for the oblivion of stars grounded in the love and sustenance of our mother Moon, the Great Nurturer.

It's time for She to walk alone. 

What was once dead has come alive.

What was once disheartened marches with drive.

Now soldier of love, she gives selflessly to show the blind how to see.

No longer making the mistake of loving everyone more than she.

For she knows of nothing, but to be.